Tree of Life

When everything was falling apart in my marriage last year, I had some hard decisions to make. I did not want my marriage to end. I did not want to be divorced. I did not want to be a failure. For a few days I considered the choices before me and as I was rationalizing their merit, I had a dream of the Tree of Life. The experience was very personal and I tearfully shared bits of it with my dad. A week or so later, this print showed up at my door from my parents with their offer to pay to have it framed. It has taken 6 months, but I finally got it framed and it now hangs in my living room.

The Tree of Life has become an important symbol for me. Soon after the dream, I went to a friend's high school graduation dinner. The centerpieces were these amazing candle trees that I loved, kind of like this one. I know I took a picture but I can't find it this morning. One of these days, I am going to find that tree and buy one for my bedroom.

For Christmas, I finally spent a gift certificate that Tim gave me to Sam Moon's. I used it to fill my stocking with beautiful things. One of the things I found was this beautiful necklace.

I am wearing it in my profile picture.

Oh, there is so much I could say. So much I would probably regret saying. A young lady gave a talk in our ward a few years ago about the difference between "clinging to" the rod of iron and "holding fast to" the rod of iron. I have definitely had my "clinging to" moments this past year. They are getting slightly less frequent, at times I feel like I can catch my breath. A few weeks ago I was pondering the "fairness" of everything. They say wickedness never was happiness but the world sure does make it look happy. At times, righteousness has felt like loneliness. As I was struggling with my internal debate, these scriptures were pointed out in Sunday School -

"Ye have said, It is vain to serve God; and what profit is it that we have kept his ordinance, and that we have walked mournfully before the Lord of hosts?
And now we call the proud happy; yea, they that work wickedness are set up; yea, they that tempt God are even delivered.
Then they that feared the Lord spake often one to another; and the Lord hearkened, and heard it, and the book of remembrance was written before him for them that feared the Lord, and that thought upon his name.
And they shall be mine, saith the Lord of Hosts, in that day when I make up my jewels; and I will spare them, as a man spareth his own son that serveth him."
Malachi 3:14-17

A friend pointed out that we all sin. There are not any good sins. All drive us away from our Heavenly Father and keep us from his presence. Pres. Henry B. Eyring said, "I hope I am always able to be tolerant of those who sin differently than I do." I am not sure why things look so inviting in the Large and Spacious Building. I don't understand the workings of the Lord, but I do know that He does work in our lives. Maybe things won't appear to be just or fair in this life but I have come to feel strongly that the loneliness of holding fast to the iron rod will be worth it - "And they shall be mine." saith the Lord of Hosts.