Long Story & I Have Some News

When I was 9 yrs. old our stake put on a huge production called "Because of Elizabeth". I fell in love with the theater & pioneers & musicals. I memorized the entire script, word for word and eventually worked my way into a speaking part - something about being cold and not having any mittens.

That love took me through 4 yrs. of high school theater productions - "Bye, Bye Birdie", "Medea", "Little Shoppe of Horrors", "Mid-Summer's Night Dream", and others that I can't remember right now. By my senior year, I was the Theater Ambassador for my high school and got out of classes anytime a production came. I showed them where everything was, got them anything they needed, etc. In May of my senior year, Showtime Company from Rick's College came. It was AMAZING! I literally sobbed when they left town - I just wanted to get on the bus and go with them to the next town.

That day I told my parents I was going to Ricks and I spent the next week filing out every scholarship form I could find. Three months latter, my dad was driving me & all my worldly possessions to Rexburg, ID. I didn't have any idea how to apply for Showtime Company but I mentioned it to my room mates and they found out for me. I applied for back stage and I MADE IT!!! After I made the team, I found out that they were touring the British Isle that year. My family literally ate burritos for months to save the $1,500.00 I had to pay for the 5 week trip. The second year I made the team again and we toured the SW United States. Anyway, I tell you all of this to let you know how much I love the theater.

While on my mission I created a "Bucket List" - a list of things I wanted to do before I die. One of the things on my list was to participate in one of the Church pageants. After the divorce, I talked to Ryan & we applied for the Nauvoo Pageant. It was more about reclaiming myself than anything else. I didn't tell anyone about it and tried to put it out of my mind. I couldn't contemplate the idea of disappointment, so I tried to not think about it too much. When I did think about it, I felt like I should be able to do the pageant - I felt like I deserved it after this last year of heartache. Well, a few weeks ago I found out that most of the pageants had released their accepted lists. I had not received an email. I did some checking and discovered that the Nauvoo lists would be released before the end of December. As the window of opportunity diminished, I came to some understanding. I told the Lord the desires of my heart concerning the pageant and then I put it was in His hands and I meant it, every word. I truly was at peace about it. I would still be disappointed, but for the first time in my life, I truly wanted whatever the Lord wanted. I had tried my own ways in other things in my life and the heartache was decimating. I wanted to try His way now. It wouldn't be my only opportunity and maybe there were other wonderful things for us. And I also came to an understanding that suffering does not entitle us to our heart's desire.

So, December 31 came and went. I didn't even notice. I had already been making other plans for the summer. I even told a few of you about our application because I didn't care if anyone knew. Thursday night, Jan. 1, I came home from watching the sunset over the lake and sat down to blog about it. Then I checked my email. There was an email from someone I didn't know but the subject said - "Nauvoo Pageant". The deadline had already past, so I assumed it was the "regrets" letter. I opened it & we were accepted!!!! I am estatic but there is an emotion even stronger than that. It is the peaceful feeling that this is where the Lord wants us this summer. I love this feeling.

I spoke to Ryan before emailing our acceptance. He wants to do it but is worried that he will be laughed at or what his friends will say. He has a lot of questions and is not sure that this is a "cool" thing. At the same time, he liked the pictures on the website and it looks like fun. Any comments or suggestions would be greatly appreciated. I am not sure where we will stay or how we will afford it, but somehow, we are going. It is were we are suppose to be. We will be in Nauvoo on the one year anniversary of the divorce. I can't think of a better place to be on that day.