Christmas 2011

I am not even sure where to start with this year. So many things threw things out of whack. For the second year, I was a co-director of the church-hosted community Nativity Exhibit. It turned out well with 657 nativities and over 2000 attendees. It also meant that my house has been a storage unit for the last month and all of my Christmas decorations have been up at the church. Decorating an entire church for Christmas kindof killed my Christmas mojo at home so even when things came home, they sat in the crates in the living room for a week (or two.)  Everything happened in slow stages - Ryan put up the tree and then it took me over a week to fluff it and put the lights up. I ran out of lights 3/4 of the way up and drove to 3 stores on Christmas Eve before I found more. Since Ryan was with Tim this Christmas, we are a day behind everyone. My sisters laughed when they called me on Christmas day and I told them I was just finishing decorating my tree! But it was all done before Ryan came home so no worries.

I really love decorating my tree although I miss Ryan terribly when I have to do it alone. Since Ryan was born, I started a tradition of a new ornament each year - something symbolic of the year, a milestone or something that reflects his spiritual growth. I've also purchased ornaments on vacations. Often I write on the back of the ornament the story behind it and it was really cool to wander down memory lane as I placed each one. So much love it on this tree. It will never win any decorating prizes, but I challenge anyone to find one with more love and meaning.

I bought myself the Lamb of God cds and even though they are the Easter story, I opened them and listened to them for the last week. They are amazing. So beautiful. And I loved, loved, loved listening to the Easter story as I decorated the tree. It felt like my testimony was being strengthened note upon note. The gospel felt fuller, more beautiful, deeper.

We had our Bethlehem dinner last night. It was nice. Quiet. Peaceful. It hasn't always been this way and last night I was glad that I persevered amidst the eye rolls to found this tradition. Last night made it all worth it.

Today is Christmas for us. We slept in until 8:30, opened gifts and had breakfast. I bought orange cinnamon rolls and sausage to go with the scrambled eggs. While appreciative, Ryan let me know that I could go back to my homemade cinnamon rolls next year. ;) By far the best gift were the stocking letters. I might cry just typing about them. So, so, so glad that I started this tradition.

I'm not sure what the rest of the day will hold. I bought all of the fixings for Christmas dinner, but right now, I don't feel the need to cook. It already feels like Christmas. My testimony feels renewed, my love ones close.

Love you all! Merry Christmas!

A Bit of Zion

The last two summers Ry and I have spent in Nauvoo participating in the Nauvoo Pageant. It was the most incredible, cocooning blessing threaded with golden miracles. I feel a great kinship to prophets past who can not write one hundredth part. Part of that is that my words lack so much in trying to describe something so tender and sacred. Oh, I can tell you the details, the events, the laughter, the sights, the sweat, but some how I struggle to share the breadth of emotion, the many witnesses of the Spirit, the answered prayers, the healing, the peace, the love. Instead I sound like like a fanatic tied to a mythical era of the past. I wish somehow I could share how experiencing Nauvoo today is not about the past. It is so much about today. Gerald Lund named his book about the Nauvoo years "A Season of Joy" and it truly was that for us. It changed me in more ways than I can share. I do not think I overstate when I say it changed my eternity.

It was a bittersweet feeling to hear the whisperings of the Spirit tell me that our season in Nauvoo was drawing to a close for a while toward the end of our stay last year. I felt so incredibly grateful and blessed for the experience. Excited for what lay ahead and sad to say good bye. At the end of the pageant as the saints head west, Parley P. Pratt talks about them taking what Nauvoo had given them  in their hearts. I could relate.  Shortly after I came home, I had such a longing for home - for my mom, my family and my hometown. In an impulsive moment, I emailed my family telling them I missed them and that one day we should get together in our hometown. I think we all felt it because within weeks, cabins were reserved and the dates were set. 

The way Ryan's summer schedule worked out, I ended up flying out the end of June and he joined me 3 weeks later. I loved how much we missed each other and how good it was to see him at the airport. After he arrived, we drove to Hood River, OR - one of the most beautiful places on earth and my hometown. Seeing my family together again was priceless. Being together in the town we grew up in... I can't describe it. I was so surprised at how little had changed. 

Some highlights of the summer:

Hiking - 38 miles total (Hurricane Ridge, Little Mt. Si, Grand Forest Bainbridge Island twice, Tunnel Falls on Eagle creak trail, Lost Lake Trail

Smores

Food (all of it.So good)

Glowstick parents - my parents taped glow sticks to themselves and walked around the campground one night. They looked awesome! Just like walking stick people.

Grandpa and  Grandsons campout - so fun to see all of them smashed in the tent together talking, playing games and reading. 

Laundry room talks with my sisters

Riot Act - my brothers told my step sister and niece to ask me about "The Riot Act." They said I had read it a lot. Gullible they are because the girls sincerely asked me to "tell me the plot - maybe I've read it." Sorry, but that's a keeper for years girls!

Family pictures
County Fair - such a trip down memory lane
My home ward - I really expected so much to be different - I didn't expect to recognize many if any. Yet it wasn't that way. I did recognize so many and the joy of seeing these good, wonderful, sweet people who have had such an influence on my life - well my joy overflowed. I thought of the scripture in the Book of Mormon when they talk of the joy they felt when, after 14 years apart, they found they were still brothers in Christ.

Grandma - sweet grandma. I wish you could know how amazing she is. Her life could fill volumes. She has buried 3 husbands and two children. She has ranched and farmed and nursed. She has cared for the mentally ill, raised grandchildren, and championed the forgotten her entire life. And to this day, she is one of the most positive people I know. She ALWAYS is talking of her next project or thing she is going to learn. In her assisted living center, she takes care of all the residents. Everyone is her friend. She delights in the weekly discussion group they have that discusses politics, religion, and current events. And through it all, she is the binding influence in our family. It hit me hard this summer that time with her on earth is beginning to run shorter. I'm not ready for her to go. I spent time with her a couple of times during the trip, trying to imprint every nuance of her deep in my brain and heart. She is so strong. So positive. So encouraging. I don't know how any of us would have made it through my mom's death without her. I am proud to be her granddaughter.
Family Reunion - as I looked  around, I realized that it was one of those rare moments when everyone in our family and extended family was doing really well. Everyone was employed, relationships were healthy, goals were being realized. It was such a sweet blessing and one that I don't take lightly.

I didn't take many pictures and part of it was a deliberate choice. I didn't want to experience the summer behind the lens. I found myself really seeing things, imprinting the memories to revisit for years to come. I know that I will most likely forget the details, the images and I probably will wish I had more pictures. But I don't think I the emotions of this summer will fade.

I love my family. I was told once that I was born of good stock and, looking around the tables, I so agreed. My family is hard working. They are dependable. They are loyal. They have integrity. They are quick witted, sassy, and enjoy life. Every one of them will feed you and share whatever they have to help someone else. I've seen them do it. Service is like second nature for all of them. I cherished this summer with them. I loved that I could see so much good in all of them. Growing up, sometimes I only saw the things that bugged me. I love that while we are all so different, we can love each other so well.

Many have made comments about us missing Nauvoo this summer and I have missed it lately, but I did not miss it at all this summer. Zion and Heaven are both full of love and family - I had both this summer.

All of the cousins with Aunt Tracy

3rd Annual Dog Pile on Ryan (no tears yet)

Sisters

My dad, brothers & sisters

Family: Missing a few, but most of us

Lexi, Ryan and Ella - These kiddos adore each other. 

Too Funny

Last night Ry was on the couch watching a show on the laptop. Suddenly he turns and asks me, "Mom, what is a communist?" I began to answer, "Well, when I was your age-" when he interrupts- "Nevermind. Tell me when you tuck me in bed." And when back to his show. Too funny.

Someone should really update this blog...

but not at 2:00a.m.! Soon, I promise. Soon.

Staycation List

My friend Alisa is tremendously creative. I love watching her and have gleaned so many ideas from her. One tradition they have in their family is an annual "Beach Week". Yet, many years they don't go to the beach! I've learned from her and a few others that a vacation is more about an attitude than an actual place. Over the last few days, I decided to write down some of my gleaned ideas and a few of my own. The result is the Staycation List:

First some Tips:

1. Presentation: the Red Envelope tradition. Alisa started a tradition that I have now copied where a Red Envelope appears at the breakfast table every day the month of December with a note of some kind of fun activity her family will do that day to celebrate the season. It is amazing how much fun things can be when they come from the Red Envelope. She and I have discussed how cool it would be to do the same thing over the summer only have a Summer Fun Yellow Envelope, or it could be plain one decorated. The idea is the presentation and the anticipation. The envelope = family fun. (Ryan loves the Red Envelope at Christmas)
2. Official start/stop date/time – Set aside the dates – a long weekend, a week vacation, etc. Get in the car and drive around the block (or walk around the block) at the beginning of your staycation. “Arrive” back at home when your staycation is over. Decide ahead of time what is not “going on” your trip (i.e. tv, work, friends, church activities, etc.) Turn off your phone. Eliminate or reduce computer time (email). Visit another ward (congregation) that Sunday. 
3. Ask! Pray to find what you need to make your staycation wonderful and then borrow from friends and neighbors as prompted
4. Music! Music creates memories. Be deliberate and incorporate music in your staycation.
5. Mom and Dad participate! My greatest memories are when my parents worked and played along side of us kids. Vacations are about doing something out of the ordinary and everyone participating. It isn't playtime for the kids - it is vacation for the family. 
6. Vacation clothes – pj’s all day, comfortable, barefoot, swim suits, mis-matched, etc. Make it work for your family and make it fun! 

Without further ado, I present the list (feel free to comment with additional suggestions):


At Home
Make forts in the living room and read books by flashlight (sleep in the forts overnight)

Build a tree house in the back yard (use only what you have on hand or free cycle)

Build a fire pit in the back yard (free cycle the bricks) Check out Alisa's here (and they didn't spend one dime.)

Camp in the back yard

Stargaze / Cloud watch

Climb trees

Candle or lamp light dinners

Board games

Movie night w/popcorn

Marshmallow roast over a fire or the kitchen stove

“Snowball” fight (old flour or cornstarch tied into old nylons)

Car Wash

Sports – in the back yard or at a park (baseball, basketball, soccer)

Video/wii game Olympics (borrow one if you don’t have one)

Re-arrange furniture or bedroom swap

Recess games (tic tac toe, hopscotch, wee games, tag, Button Button, etc)

Dance night – learn salsa, cha cha, line dancing, etc. (youtube clips or videos from the library)

Music!!! (each family member chooses for one day or have daily themes)

Family band – learn to play spoons, drum a pot, make instruments, etc.

Family Read Aloud – choose a book to read aloud during your vacation (Patrick McMannus, Wilson Rawls, Ramona, Skippy Jon Jones, etc.)

Conversation Jar

Write your Story – scrapbook, photo albums, Journal

Letter writing day

Family Time Capsule (letters, pictures, personal data – height, weight, etc to be opened on a specific date in the future)

Scavenger hunt (house or neighborhood)

Sidewalk chalk art

Lashings Races (use scout books to learn lashings and then have races)

Box Playhouse – decorate a recycled appliance box into a playhouse


Seasonal

Rake leaves / Shovel snow (make sure to play!)

Puddle Stomp / Dance in the rain

Educational

Amazing Race – “visit” a country by checking out books and learning all about it. Make traditional cuisine for dinner, dress up like their traditional clothing, visit them online. Check out music from that country. Find an online pen pal in that country, learn their language. If $  is non-existent, choose a 3rd world country.

Science – learn about the environment of your area – native plants, animals, history. Tour any available community resources (free ones)

Crafts

Sand Castles

Make a quilt

Press flowers

Art – drawing, water colors, make your own paint

Origami

Finger print art

Recycled 2-liter bottle terrarium, ocean floor, ant farm, butterfly garden

Create – driftwood planes, recycled stuff, button necklaces,

Magnet sculptures with nuts and bolts

Seashell art

Grass / pine needle weaving

Bird feeders/nest builders

Hanging herbs/flower arranging

Melted crayon art (bits of crayon and wax paper)

Leaf rubbings

Daisy crowns

Lego Creations (great instructions online)

Make paper (use flowers, etc. to make)

Food

Baking day (make cinnamon rolls, fry bread w/ honey butter, cookies)

Read Aloud dinner (food from your read aloud)

Fondue party, chat-n-chowder, sweet nothings (sweets), pioneer food.

Popsicles, ice cream, homemade frosty’s or smoothies, lemonade, root beer floats,

Use crazy ice cubes (stars or other), crazy straws, cookie cutters

Food Art – smiley face pancakes, peaches w/ chez slice on a toothpick = sail boat, ants on a log (pb on celery w/ raisins), honey bees, cookie cutter sandwiches, apple smiles, Family fun has great ideas

Camp food – tin foil dinners, hot dog roasts, pork-n-beans, banana boats, marshmallows, s’mores , dutch oven (eat camp food cooked in/on your oven by lantern light)

China dishes dinner – regular meal with best dishes, dress up, and manners, classical music, and flower centerpiece

Away

Library (make a special meal from food mentioned in books read aloud)

Walk – by the lake, river, down a fun street, across a college campus

Water – run through the sprinklers, a spray park or local fountain, water guns/spray bottles, water balloons

Swim (river or lake or free pool)

Bike Ride/roller blade/skate board

Barnes and Noble Sat. night music concert

Free Summer concerts /Plays in the park or at college campus

Free days for – zoo, museums, local interests

Watch/support the runners in the Komen Breast Cancer 5k (tons of great music and tons of fun people)

Letter boxing / Geo caching

Archery or outdoorsman shops (often they will let you shoot a few for free and are good to talk to the kids)

Wildlife Refuges (normally free)

Bird Watching

Coupons – for treats, summer reading rewards, etc.

Hike – park, waterfall, mountains, etc.

Camp away from home (keep it very simple to keep it cheap)

Service

Walk dogs at the local pound/shelter

Yard work for elderly

Yard work for a cemetery

Pick up trash in a park

Letter writing to elderly or missionaries

The Spirit of Christmas ~ Thoughtful Consideration

I've thought about posting this for years. Like breastfeeding, homeschooling, religion, politics, and a hundred other subjects, I've found Santa Claus to be one of the sacred cows in our culture. So I've said little if anything at all. But I do have some thoughts. I have an opinion. I have a voice. And if I can't share my voice on own my blog, where can I share it? Please know that the following is not my attempt to convert anyone to my way of thinking. Or to judge others' way of doing things. It is purely an attempt to share one more voice and to record how I came to some of the thoughts I have. 

It is funny how little things can become big, personal things. Tim and I dated while attending Weber State University. He was a Sociology major and one of his favorite professors was Dr. Gilespie. Every year Dr. Gilespie would hold his annual "Anti-Claus" lecture/debate. Intregued, we went. To say it was thought provoking might be an understatement. I had never considered Christmas without Santa Claus. They went hand in hand, like peanut butter and jelly or hot chocolate and marshmallows. I didn't buy into all he said, but I also couldn't discount much of what he said either. More than anything, I came away with a determination to purposefully create a meaningful holiday. For me, it became more about focusing on Christ than eliminating Santa.However, I also found that as I spent more time and effort on Christ, the result was that Santa (decor, songs, fables) became almost non-existent in our home.

I purposely purchased decor that reflected Christ. I started collecting Nativities and hope one day to have one in every part of the house. We found Christ in many of our typical decorations - the tree, the lights, the ornaments, the colors, the wreaths, the music, the scents, the gifts all have special meanings that have remind us of Christ. I kept the decorations and traditions that reflected Christ and we do have a few Santa things - a beautiful quilted wall hanging lovingly made by Ry's first piano teacher and a couple of ornaments from my childhood - things that spoke of love, family, service.

I also studied up on the tradition of St. Nicholas. If the legends are even partly true, he was a good, righteous man. He was generous, especially to the poor, needy, and the children. Three known historical accounts tell of him secretly leaving gold in the stockings or shoes of families in need. He spent much of his time imprisoned for his beliefs and was a frequent champion of the unjustly accused. The more I learned of St. Nicholas, the more I felt like he led a Christ-like life. I loved his generosity, his love, his unselfishness, his convictions, his work. I decided to keep the stockings traditions.

Growing up, our stockings were filled with an orange, nuts, hard candy, some chocolate and a small gift or two. I kept those traditions. To capture the spirit of St. Nicholas, we all exchanged stockings each year and the kids LOVED deciding on the perfect gifts and filling the assigned stocking. I found they were much more excited about the one they filled than their own. After they had gone to bed, I slipped a letter into each stocking. The Christmas letters have become one of my favorite Christmas traditions by far. I have loved the search for the right word to adequately express my heart for each family member. I have loved 'seeing' them in a different light and noticing things about them that might otherwise have been forgotten. I love that Ryan has a collection of love letters from his mother. I love that in the business of the season, I found time to express what mattered most to me. I love that the letter is the first thing Ryan opens on Christmas morning. I love that he has started writing a letter to me and slipping it in my stocking on Christmas Eve.

When asked if I believe in Santa, I began to say, "I believe in the spirit of St. Nicholas" and I do. I began to look for ways our family could help others through out the season. Some years that has been delivering gifts, other times volunteering in the community, others spending our time with others. We talk often of the best gifts for Christ, what those look like, and how St. Nicholas lived his life. I spent some time and created a Christmas Devotional book where we would sing songs, read scriptures and tell inspiring Christmas stories. Often the devotionals would end with a challenge to service others and soak up the celebration of the season. I don't think there has been a single year yet that we have done all of the devotionals. Life gets in the way sometimes. But that has also kept if fresh each year.

I've never asked Ry (or any other kids in my home) what they wanted for Christmas. Rather the question has always been, "What are you giving for Christmas?" Such a simple change of words completely changes the focus and attitude. We have given 3 gifts, which when added to the stocking and gifts from grandparents/extended family has always felt like a very full Christmas. Had Ryan had siblings, we would have had the kids make gifts for each other as well. I have loved how limiting the number of gifts has simplified the season for me. I have been able to enjoy the month instead of feeling rushed.

Over the years, I haven't condemned Santa nor actively eliminated him. I found that as I purposely chose traditions that reflected Christ, I had less time, money or opportunity to focus on Santa. I found that I didn't have time to visit Santa at the mall. I spent time scouring the internet for Christmas music that I loved and I found I had little time available for music I only liked. I found that I as I filled the season with the best things for us, there was little left over for other good things. Our culture permeates Santa Claus and Ryan has not been denied the opportunity to sit on his lap, watch the movies and sing the songs at the stores, school and activities. I just haven't invited him to our home. I have no regrets. I am so grateful we went to the Anti-Claus debate so many years ago not because it has taken anything away from Christmas, but because it has added so much more. I am grateful that I was provoked to thoughtful consideration and choose what has been best for us.

Period Films I Adore~

I've always loved the past. I have a picture of a two yr. old me decked out in a yellow pioneer dress complete with a white eyelet pinafore and bonnet. I LOVED that dress. I still remember the day when my mom said we had to give it away, that I was way too big for it. I was nine. (In my defense, I don't think I had worn it for a few years, but I loved it so much I wanted to keep it forever.)

I love these movies. Often when I am home alone, I will put one on just for company in the house. I love the messages of my favorites. So here there are: (if anyone has any to add to the list, please let me know!)

Jane Austin-
Sense and Sensibility (2008)
Pride and Prejudice (Colin Firth edition)

Emma (both the Kate Beckinsale and 2010 versions)

Northanger Abbey

Becoming Jane

Elizabeth Gaskill-
Wives and Daughters
North and South (BBC)
Cranford
Return to Cranford

Dickens-
Little Doritt

Our Mutual Friend

Nicholas Nickleby

Charlotte Bronte

Jane Eyre (Toby Stephens - Masterpiece Classic)

Thomas Hardy-

Under the Greenwood Tree

Victor Hugo-

Les Miserables (Liam Neeson)

Others-
Larkrise to Candleford (BBC)
Bright Star
Amazing Grace
The Importance of Being Ernest
Anna and the King
Ever After
Little Woman
Love Comes Softly and Loves Enduring Promise
Sarah Plain and Tall and Skylark
Sommersby
The Man from Snowy River
Seasons of the Heart
Sweet Land