Saturday, January 2, 2010

Words

I spent the last few days going through the last (I think) divorce hurdle. I dug out the 8 boxes of keepsakes, pictures, scrapbook stuff, etc. and went through them. I have been putting it off for a long while. What would it feel like to walk through those memories and dreams again? I kept putting it off. Finally, I just wanted it over. And it was a revelation. It didn't bother me at all. I read all the old love notes and emails from the dating and newlywed years. I had kept all the birthday and mother's day cards. I went through them all. And you know what? They were just words on paper. It isn't the words that make them keepsakes. It is the feelings. It is the love. When those feelings are gone, they are just words and they don't have power to hurt. I kept a handful for Ryan - I want him to know there was a time when his parents really cared about each other. And me? I put the lid on the trash can and look forward to filling the space in the photo boxes.

3 comments:

Shelly said...

Good for you!

Judi said...

I'm glad you kept some of them. My mom got rid of everything after my parent's divorce and that always made me sad. Certainly, at that time she was upset but I know there must have been some joy and happiness in their marriage. I'm glad you waited until after the heat of the moment. Sorry I missed your call on Saturday. I would love to chat with you. Thanks for thinking of me. I miss you Julie! :)

Alisa said...

I am happy for you that you are in a place that you can read those words and feel the way you do. I am happy for where you are right now.

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