Top Ten Blessings Count

I have tender feelings for the hymns of the gospel. I first felt the spirit as a child singing next to my dad or mom. I have wonderful memories with so many of the hymns and nothing helps me feel the spirit more than their familiar words. Over the last year, the lump in my throat would make it impossible to sing their comforting words but instead the words became the pleas of my heart. Things are better now and I have been able to sing again. I don't sing well or on key (whatever that means) or the right notes, but I don't care. I sing as loud as I want. The words come from my heart.

I didn't get much sleep the last couple of days so maybe that has been why today has been hard. Anyway, I have been thinking of this hymn - "Count Your Blessings"

When upon life's billows you are tempest tossed,
When you are discouraged thinking all is lost,
Count your many blessings, name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord has done.

Chorus:
Count your blessings; Name them one by one
Count your blessings; See what God hath done
Count your blessings; Name them one by one
Count your many blessings; See what God hath done.

Are you ever burdened with a load of care?
Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear?
Count you many blessings, every doubt will fly,
And you will be singing as the days go by.

Chorus

When you look at others with their lands and gold
Think that Christ has promised you his wealth untold
Count your blessings; money can not buy
Your reward in heaven nor your home on high

Chorus

So amid the conflict, whether great or small,
Do not be discouraged; God is over all.
Count your many blessings; angels will attend,
Help and comfort give you to your journey's end.

I need to count my blessings. I think the numbness & shock of the last year is starting to wear off. The anger is subsiding and at times I feel overwhelmed with my reality. I am feeling very "tempest tossed." And so the Top Ten Blessing Count begins-

10. I have a job - a huge blessing in the current times. I have the potential to love my job and feel like I make a difference. I make enough money to provide for myself & Ryan. I am grateful that Heavenly Father put me in a job where I get so many sweet notes from kiddos that build up my seriously flagging self-esteem.

9. I am relatively healthy. I am not ill. My body has met my needs. Everyone thinks my gray hairs are new highlights. A Dr. at church has helped my back tremendously and generously made it affordable.

8. I have a cute cottage that has great potential in the adorable spectrum. Not there yet, but if I have a bit of time & money... It has met my needs. I have a great landlord that has provided a listening ear more than once. So many friends have thoughtfully taken care of so many needs and wants.

7. My sweet car runs and is cheap on gas. She is currently all one color without any rust spots. She doesn't leak when it rains. She is very forgiving and has been a true work horse. She needs a name. Lately, I have appreciated her so much that I have been thinking of keeping her until she dies of natural causes years from now. I almost feel disloyal to think of selling her for something better.

6. Sunshine & Spring. I feel hopefully. I itch to plant beautiful flower beds with veggies & flowers. I love the walks, the open doors, the days without the heater or the AC. I love seeing all the people walking around the Lake or hanging out at the baseball park. I wish it could stay 75 - 80 all summer long.

5. Friends. I could never say enough about the incredible people around me. I am so humbled by their examples, their thoughtfulness, their kindnesses, their love. And so many are kindred spirits - the kind of friends that you don't talk to for a year or two and when you do, it is like you just saw each other yesterday. They are the kind of friends that make me what to be a better person.

4. Nauvoo Pageant - the application process taught me some very personal spiritual lessons. The opportunity is almost like a dream that I can't quite believe it going to happen. I listened to the music we need to learn and I got teary-eyed. I just feel this is going to be a huge mile marker in my journey of life and I am so grateful for it. I am grateful to have something to look forward too. I am grateful that I will be there on the one year anniversary of the divorce. So grateful.

3. Family - Over and over again, I am reminded what a special family I have. We definitely have our own brand of disfunction, but at the same time we are amazing. I love my family & I am so grateful that I can call them my best friends as well as family. I am so glad that we get to walk the adventure of life together.

2. Ryan - Some blessings are so special it is very hard to express them. I could never convey what this sweet, obnoxious, wonderful, crazy, silly, wise, endearing boy means to me. He is growing up so fast, especially lately. I feel like the sands in the hour glass are slipping faster and faster and some days I just want to break the hour glass and stop time. I am not ready for him to grow up. I am still learning to live in the moment and soak it up. Yet at other times, I see glimpes of the man he is becoming and I look forward to knowing him as an adult, hearing his opinions and enjoying the ripples in the pond of life that he will make. It is my highest honor to be his mother.

1. The gospel of Jesus Christ is by far my greatest blessing. It gives my life meaning, purpose, and hope. It has provide a constant source of answers, comfort, love, hope, strength, and joy. It has given me an eternal perspective. It has challenged me, educated me, humbled me, and blessed me. I could never express what it means to me. I am so grateful that I know. I know God lives. I know He knows me. I know who Jesus Christ is & what he did. I know the "good news" of the gospel. I know.

I have taken a few days to write this post. I have so many other sweet, crazy, silly, wonderful blessings that I didn't list. My life is truly blest. The song has worked its magic - I am feeling less "tempest tossed" & less sea-sick. I see glimpes of sunlight and an amazing sky before me.