Wednesday, November 19, 2008

I am here...

I am sorry for neglecting this blog. I have been writing, but only in my journal. I am trying to be more positive, to find joy in my trials, to embrace my new life, to stop living in the past. I am not doing a very good job of it. My heart feels like a rock, heavy and dead. My life feels so unrecognizable, so far away from my dreams and goals. Every time I think, "Ok, I can do this." A new wave of something hits me and I am back to barely keeping my head above water.

My blessing for today: Ryan. I am so grateful for my relationship with him. I am so thankful that we really talk together and that he shares so many of his thoughts & feelings with me. Almost every visitation weekend I find a note from him under my pillow telling me how much he loves me. He has no idea how much he has helped me through this.

I can do this. I can do this. I can...

1 comment:

Judi said...

I've missed you on your blog! I check often and I am glad to see you posted! I think of you often. What are you doing for Thanksgiving? We are just staying here.

Don't be too hard on yourself Julie - of course you can do it but of course it is not an easy task at hand! I'm glad you and Ryan have such a good relationship too.

Miss you.

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