Single Awareness Day

I told you yesterday that I had plans that I would share with you. First of all, in the Single Awareness Day cards that I sent out, I included $10.00 and a challenge to spend the money on someone else- make their day brighter, lighten their load, share love & smiles. I asked that they either email me or post on the blog what they did with the money because I thought it would be so fun to see how far the money could go. Kind of like ripples in a pond.

Yesterday, Ry & I bought two small plants & delivered them to two widows in our ward. With the left over money, I paid for the car behind me in the Wendy's drive thru. So much fun! Seriously, it felt silly and fun and happy.

Last Sunday I found out that the Single Adults were having a 5-stake social (dinner, entertainment, and line dancing) on Valentine's day. I told my Bishop & others I would make the attempt after the first of the year and things just haven't worked out. I felt like I could emotionally handle this one and kind-of at the last minute things worked out for me to go. My girlfriends who were going to go, couldn't at the last minute but I went anyway. Emotionally, I was very ok with everything until Tim found out where I was going (he was taking Ry to his basketball game & needed to pass him off to a friend after.) I just told him I had plans but he guessed. All of a sudden, I was very emotional. I left and called my dear sister Cindy who has been through all of this. We talked & cried a bit and she read me the lyrics to the Garth Brooks song "This Learning to Live Again is Killing Me" which does describe a bit of how I feel.

I went. The people were very kind and you can tell they all love each other & care very much about each other. The theme was Hawaiian and we had Hawaiian Haystacks which I love and haven't had since I was single living in Utah eons ago. 87 people were there. About 12 were men and a couple of those were married (I think I counted 3 married couples there - chaperones maybe?) They had amazing table decorations and went all out- palm trees, volcanos with dry ice, a hut to one side. During the entertainment, one sister played the Jessica's Theme from the Man From Snowy River which is one of my favorites. It is the only sheet music I have ever purchased and tried to teach myself how to play. Conversation flowed with few akward pauses at my table.

I did feel akward but not because of the people. I just felt like a mis-fit. When people would ask me questions, I would always answer "we did blah, blah, blah" I don't know how to speak in the singular, especially about things from the past. But using the plural brings up more questions and suddenly I find myself trying to figure out a way to answer perfectly reasonable questions without sharing information I am not prepared to share. Also, in some ways the evening felt very deja-vu because Tim & I's last date together was last year's ward Valentine's Day party. So many emotions. I left before the dance so I can't report on that.

All in all- it has been an emotional week. I have a new appreciation for Valentine's day as a wonderful day to share love, feel close to the Spirit and appreciate family & friends. I love that I didn't just let the day happen or allow myself to be depressed and focus on what I don't have. I am so glad that I made a plan and made it a good day. I am glad that I choose to do hard things, even by myself.