Return & Report

Only a few days late. I did loose my one pound last week! Minding my portions definitely needs more work. I am so busy during the day that I don't eat much but then by evening I am starving. This week I have been doing a few things to even out my eating so that my portions can be consistent.

I was re-reading what I wrote for my Small Steps last week and noticed a mis-spelling. I meant to write that I would work on my prayers - quantity and quality. Instead I wrote - quality and quality. Guess what I had already decided to focus on this next week? I love it when that happens. It feels like a confirmation that I am on the right track. Anyway, I want to improve my efforts in my prayers. I have been praying my whole life and I think that at times I am too casual with the Lord. The other day I was thinking about it and thought - "This is Heavenly Father I am talking too. Heavenly Father!" I definitely want to have a real relationship with Him, but I also want to be more respectful of Him, honor Him, and grateful for Him. Henry B. Eyring said of the last days "...Casual prayer won't be enough." So, for the next few weeks my focus is to be less casual in my prayers.

I am not adding to my Small Steps this week, just tweeking the ones I have already.

The Straw that Broke the Camel's Back

I started a long post with all the gory details of my nightmare right now and just writing it out was adding to my stress. Yesterday I lost it and yelled at Ryan for a fairly minor thing that was an accident but it was the straw that broke the camel's back. Last night he came and talk to me and said that he thought I needed more sleep to deal with my stress. I took his advice and after a long prayer pleading for help, I went to bed. This morning I am feeling more rested but still very stressed, panicked, overwhelmed and humbled. I basically feel like I can be a mother or I can be a teacher but I can't do both and I am feeling so frustrated that I have no choice.

I woke up before my alarm and feel strongly that I need help. So, I am asking. If any or all of you could do one of the following I would be very grateful.
*Would you please include us in your prayers, specifically that I can get everything done & be ready for my students next Wed.? That I will feel prepared for them? That I can figure out ways to be a mom to Ryan through all this?
*Put our names in at the temple.
*If you live locally I could really use some help with the following things:
Taking Ryan for a day or afternoon
sewing curtains
sewing chair pockets
painting a banner
transporting, painting & installing shower board in my classroom
Making a sign with my name (Ms. Mills)

I am calling today to get a blessing. And a HUGE thank you to the family that mowed my yard. My grass was so high that we did not know a stray cat had given birth to her 4 kittens in the grass! And the kittens have their eyes open & are toddling around. My yard was their jungle. And another HUGE thank you to the man who is spending his Saturday fixing my car.

Thank you all for all your thoughts and prayers. I have tried to be strong through this all and I just feel like I can't do it anymore by myself. Your prayers made a huge difference when the news of the divorce first broke and so I am hopping the same will happen again.