Tortoise Update

I've gone back and forth on whether I wanted to post about Weight Watchers. I don't want to become a single subject blog. On the other hand, I like the reality of posting as I am going. Most of the time people talk about weight after they have lost 20+ lbs. few times do we discuss those painful beginnings. So every other week or so, I will post how it is going. Maybe.

I weighed in on Monday and I had lost 1.6 for a total of 8.2 lbs. I was happy with a loss until I got into the meeting and heard people talking about 8.8 losses! Why is it that we always. have. to. compare. ourselves????  But then as I thought about it, I was happy with 1.6. I have heard it said that it is only safe to loose 2 lbs per week (probably said by someone who only lost 2 lbs per week ) but more importantly, it took me a long time to put on the weight. I didn't gain 8 lbs overnight so why should I expect to loose 8 lbs overnight? In a way, I am embracing that this will be slow and hard.

The meeting leader made a comment that resonated with me - "our new normal". I have seen that word before - dealing with foster kids created a new normal for our family. The divorce created a new normal and working full time created a new normal that I still struggle to embrace. So my new normal consists of oatmeal almost every morning. Oh, my mother is laughing in heaven. I grew up on hot cereal of which I really despise. Oatmeal was the least offensive to me but I have only eaten it a handful of times since I left home many long years ago. I have now had it almost daily for 2 weeks. It hasn't been that bad (yes, I use a full  tablespoon of brown sugar to wash it down with and it is worth the point).  Oatmeal is WONDERFUL because I am not hungry until 1:00! And I don't need as much lunch to keep me full and satisfied. More points for later when I really need them.

My new normal also consists of WW veggie soup or a salad every day. I need to have both on hand because I really don't care for salad on cold days. I am also learning to appreciate fruit as a dessert. Oh, rest assured that chocolate is still a part of my normal. Let's not get out of hand. My chocolate stand bys are 100 cal. pack Oreos (bought at Aldi's - much cheaper and I like them better than the name brand oreos) eat one slowly with a cup of milk - hmmm. See's chocolate suckers - they are heaven on a stick and worth every bit of 2 points as they last fooooorever. Lastly, chocolate Nips. Looooove them. Only 30 calories each without any aspartame! I can only find them at CVS so I bought out the store the other night and filled a jar at home and one at school. Carmel and chocolate - who could ask for more?

I have yet to get a lick of exercise. I soon came to realize that I had to get my sleep under control before I could add exercise. I have been working on going to bed at 10 so that I can get up at 5a.m. I don't always make it but I am trying.  I used to enjoy 8 hours of sleep. Then I became a mother and learned to function on 6 - but I pretty much needed a full 6. Enter the divorce. For the past 2 years (can you believe it?) I haven't slept well. At the very beginning, I sobbed for hours and woke up with a headache and my eyes swollen shut. As reality set in,  I would have the most real dreams where I would wake up not sure what I had dreamed and what was real. Seriously. I would question Ryan trying to sort out my reality every morning because I wasn't sure. Kind of a scary time - I thought I was loosing my mind. Over the last year, I just don't sleep much at all. I have learned to function on 3 or 4 hours for days at a time and then I will crash and sleep for 8 or 9 hours straight. The nights that are the worse are when Ryan is gone for visitation or Sunday nights because as soon as I go to sleep, it means my time is over and I need to go to work when I get up in the morning.  Anyway, I share all of this to illustrate the challenge I have in getting my sleep patterns under control. I have gone to bed at 10ish the last few nights and I actually woke up at 5 (my desired work out time) this morning without an alarm. Making progress.

And on the exercise note - I decided on what I want to do. Dance. I have a dance mix exercise dvd so I will start with that one. I loved dance when I was a kid. And not many know this, but there is a family dance for the Nauvoo Pageant cast every Friday night after the show. It was soooo much fun. They bring a DJ and a karaoke machine and it is serious laughs. Last year I LOVED  the line dances but I didn't know them. So I want to learn the Cotton Eyed Joe and some others before I go. An added plus would be coordination as I don't have much. Ok, any.

Well, there you have it. My update. Now go forth and conqueror.

Reality Bites

I thought I would check in. On my first week on weight watchers, I lost 6.6 lbs. This week, I maintained. I am not discouraged, but my reality has been a bit hard. It has been enlightening and a bit daunting to see how far away from healthy I had become.

Tracting is a bugger. Looking up the points value for everything. single. ingredient. My sister and I talked last night and I am going to spend some time tonight with a sharpie and label everything I can think of in my house. Tracking has been enlightening. Things that I have thought weren't that bad really are that bad! And I can easily eat 5 fruits in a day, veggies? yeah, not so much.

Water - I thought I drank enough. Nope. Not even close. I have struggled getting all of the water I needed and I kept loosing track of how many I had drank. And I really do not have time to be in the bathroom every 5 mins. Again, my sister came to my rescue and suggested that I get 32oz. water bottles. I did that yesterday and actually got all my water for the day down for the first time in two weeks.

I have been surprised at the number of changes I am needing to make. I am a bit overwhelmed by the goals I need to be working on. Going to bed by 10 so I can be up to exercise by 5. 64 oz of water. Veggies daily. Stop eating by 8p.m. Tracking. Exercise. Vitamins. Chocolate is not a food group. Or a meal.

I am not giving up. I have just been a bit frustrated with myself that I choose to get this far off the path. It has made me think a lot about repentance and change and the truly hard work to change ourselves. Change is so hard for me. The spirit is willing but the flesh is ohhh so weak.