The Scales of Education

I think that the little good I may be doing as a teacher is being greatly outweighed by the heavy hand of the system. Sigh.

I so need to be correcting papers right now or writing my class newsletter or drafting lesson plans for next week or watching the training video on the new reading program or... well you get the idea. Instead, I need to take a minute and record a couple of precious moments.

I have been getting up early this school year and the other day happened to be in the living room when Ryan's cell phone alarm went off. I picked it up to turn it off and saw this message - "say ur prayers". My eyes misted a bit as humility and gratitude for this kiddo washed over me. He is so much stronger in the gospel than I ever was at 12. Sometimes I forget his age and expect his testimony and decisions to be that of a mature 30 something. I forget his faith, his understanding beyond his years, his genuine goodness, his desire to be good. I am so grateful for his example to me.

Tonight I watched a friends kids for an hour. I love these kids. They have been a tremendous blessing in my life. They will never know how much good they do with their conversations and wisdoms, their butterfly kisses and lightning quick hugs, their acceptance and love. And I am truly grateful to my friends who let me love their kids. Thank you.

I love being a teacher. I love being a bilingual teacher in a school almost 50% hispanic and a class 80% hispanic. My kids are amazing. I wish I could tell you all of the sweet, wonderful things they do everyday. Or the ways they make me laugh. Or the ways they achieve things I was told by more experienced teachers our students wouldn't and couldn't do.  I don't know how long I will stay in teaching but I am forever grateful for the blessing.

Everyday Miracles in the Hood

Today I walked through the gym after loading kids into cars at the end of the day and saw a sight that made my eyes mist up and my heart just about burst from my chest. A fourth grader was practicing a lay-up with the 4th grade basketball team. This particular 4th grader, J, was my student last year. He is the poster child for a hurt and damaged child. And when the emotions of his life got to be too much, he would explode. We experienced screaming meltdowns, shredded homework, flying pencils and thrown desks last year. I became expert in noticing the signs and talking him down off the cliff of his emotions. I don't think I can really explain the spot the J has in my heart. I love him. And he knows I do. I would take him home with me in an instant if I could. This year started off pretty rough for him. J & his teacher experienced a few personality conflicts and I was called on to calm him down a few times. Eventually, he was moved into another classroom and things have been much better although there is still a long way to go. But seeing this hurt little kiddo find the confidence was a miracle. I walked up to him after his lay up and hugged him. I love that he hugged me back. I asked when his next game is so I can come watch. Thursday at 5. If I have to poke nails through my shoes to get home in the ice storm that is coming on Thurs. I will be there. 

I had another little student last year who was practicing with the team. Another J but this one sooooo quiet. Whatever he did say was so quiet you could hardly hear him. It came up with him mom last year that he wanted to read in Spanish but they didn't have any books. I fixed that. Every week or two he comes and finds me and borrows another book from my personal Spanish library. The other day I took him to the Library and showed him where he can check out other books in Spanish. 

I had a little Vietnamese tomboy in my class last year. She loved being tough. She stops by my class once or twice a week and brings me letters and notes that she has written in centers. She always wants a hug. Last week she brought me a late Christmas present - a snow globe she had made. I am going to have a folk art shelf in my house dedicated to all the wonderful kid gifts I have been given. 

Last week, we were discussing needs vs. wants and the subject of Haiti came up. We talked about it and then more importantly, I asked, "what can you do about it?" I wanted them to know they have the power to change the world, so I offered them a challenge. I said I would pay a nickel for every book they read in one week. So my readers have taken off. But they wanted to help too. I told them they needed to talk to their parents and I sent home a note asking them to help their child read. Well, this week has been amazing. They have brought in their change and given up their popcorn money. We have almost $100! And they know that they did it. I can hardly wait until we count it all and give it to the Red Cross. 

Why do I share all of this? So that I remember. So that I remember that I made a difference. So that I remember the difference they made in me. So I remember the power of one. So I remember the power of love.

Best Part of My Day?

I have a student who attended 3rd grade last year in another school. He is quiet and fairly somber. I have discovered a few passions of his but he definitely flies under the radar. I make it my mission to tease a smile out of him every other day or so. Anyway, I try to spend a few minutes talking one on one with each student when we do their monthly reading testing. Today, he and I were talking. For years, I have always asked Ryan what was his best and worse parts of the day when I tuck him in at night. So, on a whim, I asked this little kiddo what was the best part of 3rd grade. Without missing a beat and in all sincerity he said, "You."

I didn't even know what to say I was so surprised. Tears came to my eyes. I have spent the last few days groaning when the alarm goes off at 5:45 and frustrated at all the irritations of a working mother. I have struggled to find my rhythm again and even more with my enthusiasm. I was humbled. And grateful that the Lord saw enough in me to entrust these kiddos to me for 7+ hours a day. And humbled some more.

I wish that you could all get to know these kids as I do. They really are amazing. They make me laugh everyday. I love how excited they get for learning. Today, 5 boys were in the Research Center making Snap Circuit inventions. They kept interrupting me at my table to show me their latest invention. It was so fun to see their excitement.

So what was the best part of my day today? Being a 3rd grade teacher.

Update

I know that many of you are waiting to hear details of Nauvoo. I have typed out many of my thoughts but I want to post with pictures and I have had a hard time finding the camera and the camera cord at the same time. Grrr. Also, I have been waiting for some of the pics. from others in the cast to be downloaded as they took WAY more pictures than I did. 

The day after we got home, Ryan headed to Tim's for two weeks. I have been working non-stop at my house. The last year was a "survival" year and the house showed it. I have been able to let go of a lot of stuff and learn to embrace this new life of mine. Most of the homeschool stuff and the stay-at-home-mom projects found new homes this past week. It was a bit of a heart tug to see them go - they represent some personal goals and dreams, but it was cleansing as well. Car loads have gone to Goodwill or other places. I have become quite the handyman this past week, assembling file cabinets, tables, chairs, office chairs & computers. Well, not computers. I did something wrong and can't get my pc to work. 

Did you hear the death toll yesterday morning? School started for me at 8:00a.m. and life as I enjoy it ended. This year is already not nearly as hard as last year. My room is almost put together and I feel like I can do this. It will definitely be a challenge. I got my class list - 25 kids. That is a lot. And lots of other issues....

We started off the school year with a VERY political rally for two hours. Highly irritating as I agreed with almost nothing. It would appear that you almost must be a democrat to be an educator. I keep deleting other comments I could make so I guess this is all there is to say about that. 

Have a great day! 

I Made It

Today was the last day of school. I made it. It was a hard day filled with a lot of emotions. Gratitude. For a long time I really didn't think I was going to make it. May seemed so far away. Then I just crawled into survival mode and kept it together. I am so grateful for the blessings from heaven. I know me and I would not have made it through this year without divine help. Thank you to all who have been a part of those blessings. I can never thank you enough.

Saying goodbye today was hard. I always get so attached and I have never been good at goodbyes. Yet most of my mothering experiences have required goodbyes. Foster parenting, Ryan's visitation and now, teaching. I worry about these kids. Will someone continue to encourage U.'s love of space and dream to be an astronaut? Will someone listen to L. read and keep encouraging her? She is so smart and has had to move so many times just this year. Will someone see past J.'s emotional outbursts and see the wonderful, smart, hurting little boy inside who wants things to go right. Will someone continue to help J. learn to read and speak Spanish so she can talk to her mom? Who will listen to C.'s daily updates of his reading of Harry Potter and help him get money math problems? How long will it take the new teacher to see that my other C. is super energetic, sitting is torture for him, and love him anyway? Will someone see my little E. and see how hard she tries and find the help she needs? I could name them all. I probably will tonight in my journal. You see, the Lord knew that my heart needed all the hugs, notes, silly moments & funny comments this year. He knew I needed these kids. All the times they told me I was the best when I didn't feel like the best. All the times I realized how much I have by seeing how little they have. They have given me much more than I could ever give them.

I needed this year to be over. I need the break, the opportunity to catch my breath, wash my laundry, find the bottom of my kitchen sink, scour my tub, sleep more than 5 hours a night and have time to cook & freeze some decent meals. I need some time to plan some quality lessons now that I have a clue what I am doing so I didn't feel like a complete failure everyday. I need some time to be a mother & enjoy every moment with my growing kiddo. But I really was not ready to say goodbye to these kids. I wish I could spend the summer playing with them & Ryan. Take them all to the pool. Take them to the zoo with me. Take them to museums & for walks up at the lake & to the ballpark. I wish I could have fun with them without the pressure of my curriculum map or the next test. I bought them Popsicles last night and then I forgot them at home in the rush to get out the door. The day was chaotic with a capital C. I felt like I didn't really get to say goodbye. Hopefully, what I said during the year will be enough. If they didn't learn anything this year, I hope that they learned 3 things:

1. I love them.
2. Believe in themselves. They can do hard things and they will do great things.
3. Always, always FINISH STRONG. Do not give up. Always do your best.

Anyway, I am tired with an ache in my heart, but I feel very thankful. A bit teary-eyed but thankful I got to know them. That someone (many someones) trusted me, of all people, with them. Thankful that I made it.

Teacher Tales

So I was working with a small group of kids yesterday and we were learning the ou sound. I asked the kids to think of words with ou sound and one of my kiddos said - "What about the word summons?" Obviously we haven't master the ou sound yet, but it just struck me so sad that one of my 3rd graders, an 8 yr. old, not only knows the word summons, he knew what it meant.

And, on a lighter note- one of the major 3rd grade skills to be mastered is the ability to sort things. It doesn't matter what or how, just that the student identifies some kind of characteristics and can sort the objects according to their "rule." A few weeks ago, another teacher & I were brainstorming different manipulative sorts that we could come up with and I suggested a sock sort. A few days later the Mrs. Z came in with a huge basket of socks to be sorted & gave her students piles of socks to sort how ever they wanted. Suddenly, a group of girls all were whispering & turning their backs to their pile. Suspicious, Mrs. Z went to find out what was going on and discovered that one of her son's whitey - tighties were on top of the sock pile! You can imagine her relief that they weren't hers! She nonchalantly waded them into a ball & shoved them in her bag & made the neighbor girl in her class promise to not mention it to her son. We third grade teachers seem to have undies issues this year.

Teacher Tales

I shared this story with my friend Alisa and she had me tell it at a scrapbook crop tonight which reminded me that I needed to record it for future giggles. Mrs. B is our 3rd grade team lead teacher and she has been teaching for 30+ years. Last month she came into the lunch room and calmly shared this embarrassing moment that had just happened.

Mrs. B's class was putting on a reader's theatre. During the "dress rehearsal" she noticed that one of the costumes, a white apron, had a spot on it. She decided to take it home and wash it. The next day she grabbed it from the dryer, shoved it in her purse and headed to school. When it was time for the play, the girl needing the costume came up to her asking for it. Mrs. B took it out of her purse and shook it out for the girl to tie it on. As she shook it out, one of her "granny" underwear shook out into the air and landed on the floor between them. They both just looked down in shock, for a full minute or more, neither sure what to do. Finally, in slow motion it seemed, Mrs. B reached down, wadded the offending article of clothing into a ball and shoved it into her purse. The little girl, permanantly traumatized, looked at Mrs. B and said, "Mrs. B, I am so sorry that I had to see that", turned and walked away.

I love it! I have so many things in my life that now have a punch line - "I am so sorry I had to see that!"