The Deafening Sound of Silence

Day One-
I stayed up late and slept in. My head kept justifying that it was my last day to sleep in because from now on I will be getting up at 5:00 to exercise. Yeah. Let’s be real. It is not my last sleep in day. But it hasn’t fazed me. I’m changing. I’m moving. Im not making excuses.

I sat my sister down last night and told her my plan, more for accountability than for her approval. I’d like to do this with her and others, but I’m fine if I am doing it alone. Because He is with me.

I spent the mornings by signing up for weight watchers and *shocker* actually read all of the online features. I get 33 points per day with 44 plus points for the week. I made eggs with ham, onion and babybel cheese (4 puts) and tracked it. I changed into work out clothes, had my daughter take the below before pictures and I jumped on the treadmill. There was all of the requisite changing cords, moving the fan, figure out the new treadmill garbage that is now out of the way. I set up some Mike Rowe podcasts and started walking. I walked 1.65 miles in 35 mins. I was slightly warm and glad for the fans that I had set up. I started at 2.7 miles per hour and moved up to 3.2. I was bored after 10 mins and felt my mind wandering to the million of things I need or want to do even though I love Mike Rowe. I found myself watching the clock and counting the seconds. When the last podcast ended, I kept walking and silence was deafening. How did I get to the point where I couldn’t be still with my own thoughts, with just me? I started praying and talking to Heavenly Father. Slowly my mind quieted and I stopped watching the clock. It was a moment, but I caught a glimpse of the opportunity to learn on this journey. The couples who I adore on the amazing Race are the ones who enjoy the race, the people, the cultures, and who take time to see the blessings around them. I felt the same for a millisecond. I’m looking forward to the silence of my own thoughts, the beat of my own heart.